Right about now, the senioritis is setting in.
Now, from everyone's comments, its clear that I am the only person stuck in the craziness that is public high school--so, if any of this sounds completely immature, well, I'm sorry.
rambling/
I actually thought about this last night. Clearly, you (once again, brian and ben) are out of high school. Looking back at my posts, I am almost embarrassed to think that somewhere in the world there are these two college (or older?) guys laughing at my immaturity and naivity and so forth. What am I to think? Am I really that immature, do I ramble about things that seem pointless? If so, this post (dedicated entirely to high school) will just be another for you to laugh at...
/rambling
Anyways, today in my communications class (yes, the one I did the amazing cloverfield presentation in) we were talking about what each student was looking for in relationships. As the stories were told, they all said the same thing: A person had to be attractive, a "cool" kid (not in band or something dorky, have a good reputation), ect. Really superficial stuff if you ask me. When it was my turn, I realized something massive. I am not at the same level as the kids at school.
I'm tired of superficial relationships. Tired of stupid breakups, dumb boyfriends, going out with people for their looks only to find out they have the intellect of a peanut. I want so much more than the typical high school student does in life right now.
I don't want a relationship to be based on looks or something shallow. I don't want a shallow relationship either, one that lasts a couple of months. I want a connection. I want to have a person to turn to for anything, to know they won't laugh. I want a relationship where I don't have to hide my clumbsyness or dorky-ness or whatever people may see in me that they don't like....I've been through the typical high school thing. Did the "two week relationship", had the bad blind dates, even thought I loved somebody at one point.
Overall, I just want something more. I can't wait to be a new person at college. At least from what I hear, the chances of finding someone who cares less about bra size than intellegence and other important characteristics is much higher than here in hickville, USA.
Senioritis--its not because of the tests, grades or groups. Its happening because I know that there's so much more potential for me out in a world away from here.
Waiting, praying, and getting through it all,
Deneece
aka Lostie108
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2 comments:
Nah, I don't think you're being immature or anything, but just the opposite. You're much more mature than your classmates, it seems. You already know what matters in a relationship and they all seem to be stuck in the image of the perfect guy/girl that the media shows us.
By the way, I can really relate to you, because you sound just like I did throughout high school. I don't want to sound like a broken record (or a skipping CD, I guess, would be more modern), but just wait for college. I know it's hard, but try to just tolerate your way through high school; I always expected to be lonely forever but now I have a girlfriend who I've been with for 3 weeks today and we're both very happy.
The best part is not to worry about your clumsiness and dorkiness; in fact, embrace it. Eventually you'll find someone similar to you in that way. I know, because I did. I wish you luck.
Whenever I read one of your posts the word immaturity never even crosses my mind. In fact it seems like quite the opposite, you know exactly the kind of person you want to share your life with... I, on the other hand, am still working on being comfortable with myself and embracing who I am.
I finished high school a year and a half ago and the thing I worry most about is not sounding too unintelligent on the 'cast. You're actually concerned and post about things that matter.
Maybe I can't always relate to everything you post but that's only because your maturity transcends mine...
-Brian
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